3 Buggaboos
Hey there tumblr followers. If I were a betting man I would guess that this is probably the last post for this tumblr ever.
Don’t worry the new and improved blog will be housed at therealdemigods.com so is a shop, some vids, and pictures of titties.
Anyways, I’ve thought long and hard about what is going to be the final post of a pretty popular tumblr, and after that 5 minutes I thought I’d just keep it in line with the formula.
Either it’s based on a convo, or something I saw, read, watched.
Today a convo.
I was discussing the unforseen detriment of having a japanese style platform bed with my roommate. When I originally bought the bed from West Elm I was hype like shit. Little old me was buying shit from West Elm. Then toss on top of that a tempurpedic mattress, and I was sure that I had made it.
My bed is insanely comfortable. I have the most basic blanket and pillows, but it’s like sleeping on a damn cloud. It’s impossible to have sex in. Tempurpedic gives you zero momentum. Every thrust is absorbed, and the low platform style significantly restricts mobility.
Anyways
This convo happened while we were watching Girls on HBO, and the too nice boyfriend basically pre-dumped himself.
I resonated with that character. I had been TOO nice before (a problem I no longer have)
I had gotten back together with an ex-girlfriend, and things had changed. Our sex was much better. She was nimble, flexible, vocal.
WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT
Then she started hinting that she wouldn’t mind if I performed certain sexual acts that at the time I found disrespectful. Needless to say she dumped me for the man who could make her squeal, and now I’m a gracious lover.
At this point in the conversation we laughed recalling some of the more freaky things we’d done with the women in our life, and we got to the inevitable…
She tried to slip me a finger.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
If I can share one thing. If I can reach one person with this blog. If we teach one lesson. An unrequested finger is never ok.
EVER
Anyways we laid out our buggaboos
3. No other dudes in the room
2. Nothing goes in or around me
1. Wrap it Up
That’s it. This post isn’t really that good. It’s a rambling, but we’ve given you plenty of good shit in the past. The quality resumes at therealdemigods.com
OH I almost forgot.
Hi my name is @ekomicview thanks for reading the tumblr. see you over at therealdemigods.com
The Worst Post ever
I’ve lost count, but anyways you know the deal. The homie submitted a post, and it was so amazingly bad that I just had to share
What happens when you want more?
I’ve been having sex with a couple chicks, but the one I really like only calls me for booty calls. That’s how are [sic] relationship started, but now that I want more she doesn’t seem to interested.
I don’t get that.
She’s always been number 1 on the roster of chicks, and I’d be willing to drop the whole roster to be serious with her.
That’s bullshit.
She’s gone through some emotional struggles, and I think that’s made her closed off to the thought of a relationship, but I’m ready and willing to help her through that.
I just don’t understand how she could pass on being with me especially when I’m willing to dump the other girls.
Shit don’t make sense
She probably has dad issues.
Why do women with dad issues not know when they have a good man?
THAT’S IT!!! That’s all he sent me. I don’t even know where to begin with this post, but it may be the worst post of the worst post ever series.
FYI THIS IS THE LAST WEEK FOR THIS TUMBLR.
We are going to have an Office Space Sendoff for it, but our NEWER BIGGER BETTER LOW-FAT blog will be cranking at therealdemigods.com
ummm bye
Avenger’s Midnight Movie Release Survival Guide for Adults
Shit we don’t like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1JJkMD1hE4
Ok you’ve heard the song, and we thought we’d just name 5 things we don’t like.
5. Tweegrams
WHAT THE FUCK!!! I can’t decide who is more of an asshole the person who said, “I bet people would love to tweet pictures of their tweets” OR the asshole who said, “You know what. Some of my tweets are so good they should be pictures.” Either way both of you are bound for the deepest circle of Dante’s Inferno. I hope you enjoy your time in Lucifer’s mouth [some of y’all will get that reference. Most of you won’t. Read a book]
4. Locals
DC is a transient city and the imports, particularly HU students, have gotten into the habit of calling DC natives locals. This is not what we mean. We mean the dumb people we friend-ed on facebook during highschool, and they doing the same shit they’ve been doing since forever. I’m from the South and grew up in a predominantly white affluent neighborhood. I had nothing but white friends, and I didn’t realize how prejudice I was towards my own race. Luckily, I got out. A lot of them didn’t. One of my best friends I’ve known since I was 10 years old visited me, and began to exclaim how proud he was of me. “I always knew you were one of the good ones, but you’re like an inspiration dude.”
THE FUCK
THE GOOD ONES
I went on to tell him that I’m not one of the “good ones” I’m one of the ones who was lucky enough to be born into a situation where my only handicap was being a minority. I was a minority in my school, but my parent’s socioeconomic status allowed me to compete on a relatively level playing field, and guess what. I beat the shit out of y’all.
3. VIP
We’re not going to lie we’ve popped bottles, worn special placards, and generic shit but the idea of VIP is actually really stupid. VIP shouldn’t be available for purchase. VIP shouldn’t be a different line that you spend $10 more to get into. I feel like the social scene has greatly diluted the value of VIP. VIP is very important people. The drug dealer who spends 3 stacks at the club is not VIP. He’s a coon with fast cash. The young lady who squeezes into a $20 dress from H&M and can be found standing on different couches several days a week, but couldn’t tell you the square root of 4 (2,-2) is not VIP. VIP is Obama, Mandela, Kate Upton…I mean shit have you seen Kate Upton. She VIP
2. Instagram
I know everyone else loves the fuck outta instagram, and we did too at the beginning, but then y’all coons got your hands on it. I don’t need to see your $5 nachos through a 1977 filter. I recently went out to eat with my friends. It was an amazing night. It was an occasion where we had all gone through some personal turmoil, and come out the end better men. We went to eat at Jose Andres pop up restaurant Great American Tavern. We ate GOOD, ordered a bottle of wine, and just had a great time. It was also cool that we were easily the youngest people in there, and we’re black. Then my homie started taking pictures of our food with instagram. That was it. The mystique was gone, and I remembered I was just a negro paying $300 for food. (FYI Great American Eats Tavern is super dope)
This is what you look like when you instagram your food http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuXzrMOlMAQ
1. Pulling Out
Just thought’d we be real. Pulling out sucks.
